Some years ago, I worked for some government company in Pretoria. We were lucky not to clock in and out as their employees were working flexible hours. I must say we took advantage of that, well, in a wrong way sometimes. It was the first time in my life that I was not monitored through a clocking system at work, probably the last also

According to my contract, I was supposed to be at work from 07h00 to 16h30, which was a bit too much when you look at it because I didn't have a reliable transport to get to work that early. So I'd come at 07h30 and leave at 16h00 which was ok because I'd do my job well, making sure that I finish everything before 16h00 so that I can leave by then and my manager didn't really have a problem with that because he understood our working conditions and the demands of our day-to-day job

I shared the house with him at some stage. We would go do private jobs, go do after-hours work together when needed to. But every once in a while, there would be a problem just after I left or before I get to work. He'd call to ask where I was and I'd tell him. The follow-up question would be, you know your working hours so why are you not at work. He’d put me in my place, he’d go as far as promising to give me a written warning for being late or leaving early at work

Surprisingly, when we go to do our private jobs, he never brought up the arguments we had about work. We would talk about everything including the company, but not about why I left early or the problems that were reported directly to him as a result of my absence at work. 

Sometimes I'd get annoyed because the guy knew that I didn’t have a car and we've been working like that since forever, but when there's a problem he would act as if it’s the first time I left early or get to work late

But through that experience, I learned that you need to treat every situation just the way it deserves to be treated. The guy outside work was my friend, housemate, we spoke the same language and did private jobs together, but when it comes to his work all that would fall away. He was a manager, disciplined me just like any other superior in a work environment would do. He'd separate everything else we had and do his job without a glimpse of a smile or sympathy

I believe that should apply to everybody, we should treat people the way they deserve to be treated at a certain time. So many things go wrong and we don’t fix them before it’s too late because we worry about how are they going to feel, what are they going to say, whereas we should be correcting their behavior

If your friend is doing something wrong, don't be nice because he/she’s your friend. Act accordingly, tell them in their eyes that they're out of line and they need to get their acts together. Don’t worry about the status of your friendship because you might just save them from a lot more trouble. If they hurt your feelings, tell them, don’t wait for another day to do so

Don't watch me fall apart or digging my own grave because you're worried about our relationship, treat me the way I deserve to be treated at that specific moment. Wrong doesn’t suddenly become right when I’m your acquaintance, it remains wrong. You are not a good friend when you mislead someone close to you, that’s not being a good friend, nor a good person. A good friend is someone who tells you when you’re wrong even if it hurts your feelings, someone who won’t do you any favors just for you to be happy, but that one who will call you on the side and tell you that you’re out of line

I know we all need that one friend who will jump in and say “you said what!! this is my friend. I’ll kick your ass right now” without even asking what really happened. However, it shouldn’t end there because there’s always more than one side to the story. They should take time to ask what really happened and correct you where you are wrong

Don’t deceive them, but treat them just the way they deserve to be treated in that particular time

“It’s all about one day at a time, one day at a time”

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