Yesterday was a very sad day, like any other year when that day comes. I got one of those calls that always get me worried. It started with a very early text message saying “Happy Birth Day”, from that moment I realized it has begun. A couple of phone calls followed, all with the same motive, which is reminding me that I’m old.
For a moment it felt like I was in a retail store somewhere, where you have to be friendly to everybody, even if there’s something bothering you or they are mean to you. I had to greet with a smile and say thank you even though realizing that I am old wasn’t going down so well
It’s funny how everyone finds it necessary to remind you that you’re indeed an old man with nothing to show up for. They even make it look like some sort of a game where they can compete, “I just wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday”. I can’t forget those who are always late and have reasonable excuses, “I wanted to be the last one to wish you a happy birthday”, “it’s better late than never”. They all go on to say, enjoy your day, which is strange because old man don’t enjoy no more. I think it would be better if they say “I just want to be the first one to tease you, remind you that you are an old man with no achievement to show up for, you’ll soon disappear with nothing to be reminded about”
No offense to those who took their time to send me those sweet messages, trying to make it look like a nice thing. Thank you so much, but that doesn’t make me feel any better.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that I’m old because I can now fully depend on myself. I make wiser decisions than I did many years ago, but the thought of growing old is scary when you still have a lot you need to accomplish but yet haven’t even started. Thinking time is running out for you is terrorizing because you wish you could catch up, but you can’t because you haven’t started. I just can’t help but feel a little behind and that’s just sad, really sad.
