I live in one of the complexes somewhere in Tshwane. There’s few blocks of flats here and a lot of people from different countries who live here for different reasons. One early morning, I was going to work for my morning shift. It was just after 05:00 am, so most of the people were still sleeping and it was during the early days of winter so it was still dark outside.
Our block of flats is eighteen floors up so there are lifts to help us up and down, but when I go down to the ground floor I don’t use it because it’s much quicker when I use the stairs, I don’t have to wait for the lift to get where I am. So as usual, I was going down using the stairs, on the way down there was this guy, a foreign national in front of me and a young girl probably early twenties walking in front of this guy. As we were walking down the guy just stopped and said to this girl “come” with a demanding voice. The girl didn’t seem to get that at first. “Sorry” she replied, trying to hear what the guy was saying. He repeated, “come”. She walked back to the guy as I was passing. I don’t know what happened after, but as I was passing I noticed the guy touching his belt.
Here’s the thing, I’m an adult and those people were adults also, or at least one was an adult, so, was I wrong to think the guy wanted a blow job from that young girl because he didn’t seem like he was angry, so I can’t say he took out the belt to beat the poor girl and I never heard any sound after, which was not wrong by the way because to me it looked like they were together so asking for that from your girlfriend isn’t a bad thing, but what bothered me was the approach, it was not that good and the place wasn’t for that, definitely not for that, and most importantly you can’t do that to someone you care about. You can’t just ask for a blow job if that was the case on stairways because people can pass there anytime, as it was the case with me. But I still wish that I’m wrong to think that’s where it ended up, with a blow job.
You know, as human beings we always want more and better than we have or had. Ladies want whatever they want, probably a man with money, with a big dick and so many other things that they want. As man, we want whatever it is that we want, I gave up trying to figure that out a long time ago because it seems like something new comes up just when I think I understand what we want exactly, but sometimes that “more or better” doesn’t always turn out to be what it promised to be at first, what you wanted it to be because you get more than you bargained for. You get this man with more money than the guy you were with before. He gives you the money, but then humiliates you after, demands blow job on stairways. Or just a boyfriend who will do everything in his power to delete your past, to remove all the people you ever know, people who matter to you because he’s a psycho hiding with his profession.
Which got me thinking, maybe, just maybe, sometimes settling or appreciating what you already have its best because that more might just be too much, too much to handle and too much to live with. Unfortunately, you never know what’s inside the box until you open it.
As for me, I heard and saw something I wish I didn’t, or rather, my ears got me into an unpleasant situation I wish I didn’t see with my eyes, but it’s too late to change that now. But I would like to take this time to say to all the ladies out there, if I ever made you feel you were not good enough, I’m really sorry. If I ever disrespected you in any way, I’m sorry for that too. I don’t think what I saw it’s the way we should treat women under any circumstances and I hope all the women out there choose their next boyfriends carefully and keep away from those who will traumatize us early in the morning by their unacceptable animalistic behaviors.
I have nothing good to say about foreign nationals and I hope to never be the reason any women out there will end up with them. I hope I’ll never be the reason any woman will claim that “South African men are not caring, they don’t treat woman right” as they say when they decide to taste the jelly tree from outside the borders, because for all these years I’ve lived with these people I haven’t met what seem to be a couple motivated by love, but I always feel sorry for our sisters who happen to walk with these guys. I’m yet to see one with a smile or holding hands like real couples, but I see plenty of shy little girls who are escorted by old men, you wonder if it’s the boyfriend or an uncle, unfortunately, the least you can do is being less judgmental of the situation.
