It starts with a simple argument, escalates to something worse But it always ends up with no goodbye at the end of the conversation No follow up phone call, but a text message with not so good message in it is more likely
Days go by, followed by weeks, with no word from either part Eventually, you cool down, you admit to have been wrong, even if you weren’t You wish you could see them, patch things up, but pride stands in the way somehow
That one lonely evening comes at some point, you miss them so badly You wish you could call just to hear how they are doing, but they won’t pick up the phone You let it ring and ring hoping they’ll eventually pick it up, but a voicemail do You redial again hoping this time they might pick it up, but it simple rings until it goes to voicemail again and again You let go only for a few minutes because you just can’t stop thinking what might be going on, why they’re not picking up
It gets worse, you start wondering whether they’re safe or they’re deliberately ignoring your call You try to fall asleep, but you only get that right for a few hours because you wake up again after a little while You try to call, but nobody picks it up, you try again and again and still get the same results from an annoyed white lady
This time you force yourself to sleep, but your heart is in a very bad state you can’t think of anything else Even sleep finds it hard to come by, instead, it distances itself from you like a friend when you need it the most You know very well you can’t fly, but you wish you could, just to get there and see why they’re not answering your calls You keep trying and trying until you fall asleep with a phone on your hand close to your ear with your heart sore
Because loneliness is never amusing
It cracks the stable heart, melts the frozen like solid mind It drifts the time, slowly it becomes you lose the count It fills you with emptiness, traps you in the panels of your soul It shrinks your happiness, helps your mind define everything with one word “useless” It converts burning December sun rays to freezing August cold fronts It turns a humble man into a control freak, then a restless jealous uncontrollable freak
